I'm trying to kick this habit of using tobacco that got stuck with me some ten odd years ago. It's becoming too much of an addiction and I'm trying all that I can to get the habit hell out of my system. I know this is one habit that kills so slowly. In those lines, I am already half dead.
This is probably the only thing friends disagree with me the most. They have tried everything possible to make me get it out of my system. Unni even went to the extent of eating a whole pack of tobacco when she found out I still had a packet in my pocket. The bloody thing just popped out of my pocket as I was taking my wallet out. She was furious. She snatched the packet and just pushed the entire content into her mouth. Later, seconds later, I felt like killing myself when I saw her throwing up into the washbasin. I just can't see her hurt. However, I still couldn't kick the habit, despite hours of promising.
My problem is, I know, I have somehow made myself believe that this thing inspires me. Though I am highly immune to the kick that it gives by now, I feel drained if I don't have a pinch in my mouth. Now, I have tried alternatives. But, I am somehow conditioned to buy a pack of tobacco anytime I shop.
There're times when I decide and throw the pack away. It usually happens when I'm travelling. But then, I find myself buying a pack as soon as I'm out of the bus.
G always tried to scare my wits out saying that there's this thing called Carcinogen in that. She used to say: ' You'll die of cancer one day and I don't give a damn." Jyothi and Christine used to threaten me saying that I'll die bleeding in my bowels. Uppapi tried to persuade me saying that girls wouldn't come near me. Girls did. So I didn't listen.
But, today, as I sit in this bus and blog like a maniac, I'm finally deciding to to kick it in its butt once and for all. I'm not yet sure this is another travel decision. I'll know as soon as I get out of this bus. I haven't thrown my packet away yet for the fear that I'll buy another as soon as I get down.
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