Forcing a marriage

Just read Hasan Suroor's interview with academic and social activist Nazia Khanum. She released a report on forced marriages among Asian Communities in Britain. This is getting better day by day. Of course she makes that difference between Arranged Marriages. But methinks, both are pretty same.

The debate in India was always about the merits and demerits of both Arranged Marriages and Love Marriages. Even the so called advocates of Love were not so sure about their cause. So they discovered another way of making it sound better and less provocative - Love cum Arranged Marriage. The reason? The whole issue is Security within Marriage. Security? Ya, even in this age of women's liberation and feminism. Ultimately it boils down to security. Security simply means men taking care of their women and children.

Now, Nazia is right. The parents who force their children to marry or in their own sweet terms arrange for their children to marry somebody, have TRADITION as their excuse. That reminds me of Tevye in The Fiddler on the Roof. I can still remember how Tevye used to scream TRADITION.



Ya, that's the only way out, you know. Now, Tevye asks, how did these traditions get started? Well, 'I'll tell you' he says. The answer - He doesn't know. Ya, he doesn't know. None of us know. That's pretty same in the case of marriages too. We do not know when all this got started.

Now, we Indians are so proud that we are the people of Vedas. I'm told during Rig Veda they had no idea what arranged marriages were. I think the idea of an Arranged Marriage is a European contribution. But that argument is not often accepted. We are proud about our Veda Culture. But we often prefer what our English Masters taught us in matters of marriage.