A Cat Fight and Two Films

Last night was a perfect example for how two things so unrelated could coincide to lead from one thing to another. Last night I and Unni had one of our usual Cat Fights. Ya, that’s what I call them – Cat Fights. She’s a real Cat when she’s angry and I’m not anything less. I’m a Verbal Cat, fire breathing words that would readily qualify as bullshit at any given point of time. She’s a Scratching Cat, with real sharp fingernails. Our Cat Fights are usually over silly things. They are so silly that we just can’t believe we fought over something as silly as that, later, after everything is said and done.

It usually begins so calmly. We are talking about something and all. And out of the blue I do something that annoys her or she says something that irritates me like hell. And either one of us pull a long face. As the argument builds up, she goes angry. Though she’s a wannabe lawyer she can’t beat me when it comes to debating over silly things. Now, when she is angry, I don’t know how to handle it. The best thing I can do is to lie down beside her and touch the softness of her arm or something. I love touching her when she’s angry. But touching her when she’s angry can be really, really bad. You may end up with peeled off skin or a broken finger or swollen lips or puffed eyes.

I remember, once we were fighting. That was again over something as seriously silly as usual. The Cat Fight got worse. I ended up literally with two bleeding scratches on my wrist. Now, the end of that fight really turned out to be so charmingly steamy because of those two bleeding scratches. You know what I mean? Ya!

Last night we were watching the Tamil Movie, Amarkalam. [Unni is so well-informed about Tamil Films. She told me Shalini and Ajith, the lead actors of that film fell in love as they were shooting for the film.] The interior design of the Heroine’s home was too finger licking good. These days, we always make a mental note of cool interior design ideas as we watch movies so that we can use them later when we build a house. Now, they had the prototype of a phone booth in the heroine’s home, where they kept the phone. It was a cute red box that looked exactly like one of this Ooty Phone Booths. As the heroine was receiving a call, sitting inside the phone booth, Unni declared, ‘We are going to have something like that when we build a house.”

We have this habit of one saying exactly the same thing the other is thinking. That’s not magic or anything. In a six year old relationship you almost know the other person like the back of your palm. “I was thinking of the same thing.” I said.

“Oh! No, no. That’ll be like giving the kids a cozy place to, you know what…hm..No way. Even if we have it, we are going to have it in our room.” She said suddenly, as though she remembered something she forgot and was trying to recall for a long time.

“Why not?” I frowned.

“Why not what?” She turned her face to me from the screen.

“Let the kids enjoy that?” A Big Question about the kids yet to come. They are not even on their way.

“Are you saying you would permit the kids to do such things?”

“I don’t mind.” I said, in my most provocative tone.

“I do mind.” she said.

“Why? We used to talk hours together over the phone. Now, why not the kids live their life and we live ours?” I snapped back.

“I don’t want the kids to make the same mistake that we did.” she blurted out and all hell broke lose.

I pulled a long face. She tried to explain. I wasn’t in a mood to listen. She tried to pet me and put some reason into my head. And both of us knew one thing was going to lead to another. But it was going to take time.

However, life is full of surprises and it ain't going to take you where you plan to go. Unni went to the next room, in her pretentious fit of rage. I was supposed to follow her in five minutes. Then there was this don’t-you-dare-to-touch-me thing to go on for sometime. When she knew that I had reached that point of no return, she would flood me with kisses, so unexpectedly like a summer rain. And finally, if everything worked out the way it should be, we would be naked in each others arms in no time.

But today, in my dumb attempt to make it different, I didn’t follow her to the next room in five minutes. After ten minutes, ten long minutes, I switched off the tube. I went to her. I touched her arm. She pushed me away. I touched her arm again. She pushed me away harder. From pushing to pinching to scratching to my goodness. She’s a tigress when she’s angry and things went out of hand. Things went out of hand when she started hitting her head with my hand, bang, bang, and bang. I was expected to hit my hand on the floor in retaliation. She was complaining of a headache yesterday and this made me really angry. In my attempt to bring her to senses, I slapped her across her face. Now, she goes wild when she is at the peak of love. And I go wild when I’m angry. Now this slap was not acceptable. That was it, the end of that night.

I came out of the room, feeling so sorry I slapped her. She switched off the light. Now, that means it is over for today. She’s not like me. She sleeps faster than she actually does, when she’s upset. And I can’t sleep when I am upset. So I switched the tube on. And there was Danni playing his saxophone. Danni is T V Chandran’s masterpiece film. And as I was watching the film, I discovered T V Chandran’s theory of Unrelated Coincident. First the unrelated phone booth in Amarkalam led to the Cat Fight. Then, the Cat Fight made me watch Danni. Had it not been the wrongly concluded Cat Fight, I would not have watched Danni. And watching Danni made me discover Chandran’s idea of Unrelated Coincident.

I wanted to watch Danni for a long time. And there it was, playing on the tube. Unexpected. Unrelated Coincident. Like it happens to Danni in the film. Every important development in Danni’s life is connected to some important historical development in strange ways. Danni was born when Gandhi went to Dandi. His first wife ran away when the first Communist Government in Kerala was dissolved. And it is a film about how strange the ways of love can be. The old Danni falls in love with an old woman whom he calls ‘teacher’. And they go to Bangalore, to meet Danni’s long lost daughter Louisiana. They meet Louisiana. Louisiana is so happy to meet her ‘papa’ and his wife. Later, when Louisiana finds out that they are not man and wife, she throws them out of the house. Danni and Teacher are in the street and it is night. And Danni dies that night. The teacher books a van and takes the dead body to Kerala, her place. And imagine an old woman, coming home one fine morning with the dead body a man and nobody knows how he’s related to her. She buries him in her land, showing us Love is that Strange a Thing, one often fails to make it out when it’s happening. And I’m discovering that every day, loving Unni.